A day in the life (part 3)

A lesson in single parenthood: It doesn't matter if you get sick, you still have to take care of everything.

I got a fever Saturday night, then I seemed ok the past two days. Then I came down with it again this morning. Fever, chills, sore muscles, sore throat, etc. It's been going around, plus it doesn't help that my immune system is probably sub-par due to stress. Couple that with a toddler who's feeling fine and wants to run around everywhere. "Sit down Mama" (finger tapping the floor beside him - what he does when he wants me to play with him). Mama just wants to lay on the sofa for a little while and watch you play. No way. Colin grabs me by the sleeve of my shirt and pulls 'til I get up. Then it's "Outside Mama". Really? Ok, I guess. I take him into our small back yard area with some toys to play with, while I sit in the sun, shivering with a jacket on. "Eat Mama". That's right ... I have to make lunch ... I almost forgot. Didn't I just make breakfast? It's a Mac-n-Cheese kind of day. That's ok, he doesn't mind - at least I gave him the good organic kind from Mother's Market. "Watch choo-choo Mama", because he wants to watch Thomas & Friends. Oh, wait ... I think Mama can handle that. Then I let him watch a few episodes that I have on the DVR. That's more than I usually let him watch. I feel a little guilty. He already watched Sesame Street this morning. Bad Mama.

So while he naps, I try to clean up. And catch up on emails. And pay some bills (that may or may not be late). I'm completely scattered, and have been for months. I keep trying to pull it together. I'll get there someday I guess.

When Colin wakes from his nap, I feel bad that he's been couped up all day. I decide to take him over to Fashion Island (an outdoor mall) and walk around a bit. Driving down the hill on Jamboree, I could see Catalina Island and the shimmering water of the Pacific Ocean as the sun is just starting to go down. My mind wanders to the time Damien took me there for my birthday. We stayed the weekend and had so much fun. Watched a movie in the old Casino, took a tour of Wrigley Botanical Gardens, ate at this funky old restaurant/bar ... then *snap* ... back to the present. Then of course the PIMCO buildings came into view on the left as we neared the mall. Little pangs of nauseousness hit me. This has how's it's been lately ... lots of memories. He is everywhere. It's a good and bad thing, but right now, it's more of a sad thing.

We went to Barnes & Noble and I let Colin get a book. Then we went over to the koi pond, where he proceeds to feed ALL of the crackers that I packed for his snack to the birds. He is happy, the birds are happy, I still feel not-so-great, but I'm outside at least, and Colin's getting some exercise. Not-so-bad Mama.

As we drove home, I could see all the snow on the mountains, and my mind wanders again. 8 months pregnant and spending the weekend in snow-covered Big Bear, tromping through the snow & ice to get a pizza, looking for bald eagles ... then *snap* ...