Damien "Joey" Joseph Kam

Damien "Joey" Joseph Kam
February 11, 1965 - August 28, 2009

Honoring the great Memories...

Damien's Memorial Plaque was installed January 16, 2010. It is located in the Garden of Reflection Memorial Book. Inquire at the mortuary office if you are not sure of the location, and they will give you directions.

Pacific View Memorial Park
3500 Pacific View Drive,
Corona Del Mar, Ca 92625


One day we'll disappear together in a dream

However short or long our lives are going to be

I will live in you or you will live in me

Until we disappear together in a dream


Damien's Memorial Plaque

Damien's Memorial Plaque


If you would like to contribute to Colin's College Fund in Damien's Memory:

Send a check to:

College Savings Iowa

P.O. Box 55119

Boston, MA 02205-5119

Reference #450079529-01 on the check

Or if you use Online Bill Pay you can issue a check as referenced above.

For more information regarding this type of account please visit: https://collegesavingsiowa.s.upromise.com/

A special thanks to Judy, Cyndie's Cousin, for putting together Colin's college fund.

Monday, February 28, 2011

A year and a half

It's so hard for me to believe that so much time has passed already.  It's been a year and a half today since Damien passed away.  So much has changed since then.  Colin has gotten so big, and he continues to grow and change every day.  I really wish that Daddy could be here to see all that, to experience first-hand like he always wanted to.  He would be so proud of his little man!  I've changed so much too.  My way of thinking and my whole perspective on life is different now.  I've learned how family and friends and experiences are so meaningful ... so much more meaningful than any material item ever could be.  Time is precious.  We are in no way guaranteed our time here.  I have learned to make the best of it, as best as I can, each day.  I've learned to take better care of myself, so that I can be a better mother.  And I've learned to let go of anger, disappointment, jealousy - toxic emotions if kept around too long.  If I break a plate, I no longer freak out about it, or get mad.  After all, it's merely a plate ... a material item that can be replaced.  In general, I guess I've learned to calm down, to keep my anxiety at bay, to *attempt* to focus on the positive, take on only what I can handle, and just breathe.  It's still hard, but I think I am learning to adapt to my "new" situation.  It's a slow and sometimes very painful process.  But I never imagined I'd make it this far with my head still screwed on (although there are still those days when I think I might lose it!).  It's amazing what you can do when you have to.  That said, I still found today difficult ... mostly because the "date" was stamped into my mind.  So I found it really hard to concentrate and get anything done.  But tomorrow is another day ...

Love and miss you always Joey!

Friday, February 18, 2011

You're a widow?

I wonder why it is that I can talk to family & friends about Damien's death relatively easily, yet when I have to tell a stranger that I am a widow, I nearly fall to pieces.  I can always feel my eyes welling up.  Maybe its the shocked and sad look they give me ... the one that says "Oh my god, you're a widow?, you're so young, and you have this young child, how did this happen?"  And these well-meaning strangers always want the details - I guess it's so unbelievable to them.  And that always opens the wound again for me. 

I took Colin to a free developmental check up at a local kids museum today.  It's a great service that checks your child's hearing, vision, teeth, motor skills, speech, etc.  I've been a little concerned about Colin's gross motor skills, and I've always noticed that his shoulder were slightly uneven, and he used to have a little bit of a head tilt.  Anyway, you have to fill out all this paperwork, including information on the father.  Then I have to explain it to the doctors, nurses, therapists, etc.  That just shot my day down.  As for the little man ... he has low muscle tone (common in Asians - who knew?)  and they do want him to go to a physical therapist to work on that, and his posture, and his flat feet (which totally come from Daddy!).  He'll be ok ... and I'd like to think I will be too.

Long day ... yes, I am a widow, and I'm exhausted.

Monday, February 14, 2011


Although Valentine's Day has never been my favorite holiday, it's still difficult to face without Damien.  We purposely never made too big of a deal out of it, believing everyday should be about love :o)  But he always brought me beautiful red roses, and some other little surprise of some sort.  Often times, he would cook a special dinner for me, which I loved the most!

But today kind of just came and went, like all the others - I felt a little sad, but mostly ok.  My mom's group had a little Valentines Day party for the kids, including food, crafts, and fun with friends.  I received some sweet little gifts and messages from friends and family - Thank you much :o)  I am blessed to always have people in my life who make sure I never feel alone.  And keeping busy helps me get through too.

I will always be grateful for the 10 years I had with Damien, for all the good times we shared, for the family we created.  I would never change that.  And I will always miss him.


Friday, February 11, 2011

Happy Birthday to my sweetest Damien.  I remember all the fun parties and dinners we had for your birthdays.  I miss you so much.  You will always live on in my heart.

Some great memories:

30-something birthday @ Joe's Crab Shack :o)  Although Damien was known for being quiet, he was still a nut and knew how to have a good time!!!  I can still hear his laughter.

The Big 4-0 at our apartment in Long Beach - 2005.  Good times with good friends - that was always the only thing he wanted :o)

Today, we went over to Damien's memorial plaque to leave some flowers from his mom, stepdad, and us:

Beautiful sunset with a view of Catalina

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Happy New Year!

Happy Year of the Rabbit!

~Peace and Happiness to all~