Damien "Joey" Joseph Kam

Damien "Joey" Joseph Kam
February 11, 1965 - August 28, 2009

Honoring the great Memories...

Damien's Memorial Plaque was installed January 16, 2010. It is located in the Garden of Reflection Memorial Book. Inquire at the mortuary office if you are not sure of the location, and they will give you directions.

Pacific View Memorial Park
3500 Pacific View Drive,
Corona Del Mar, Ca 92625


One day we'll disappear together in a dream

However short or long our lives are going to be

I will live in you or you will live in me

Until we disappear together in a dream


Damien's Memorial Plaque

Damien's Memorial Plaque


If you would like to contribute to Colin's College Fund in Damien's Memory:

Send a check to:

College Savings Iowa

P.O. Box 55119

Boston, MA 02205-5119

Reference #450079529-01 on the check

Or if you use Online Bill Pay you can issue a check as referenced above.

For more information regarding this type of account please visit: https://collegesavingsiowa.s.upromise.com/

A special thanks to Judy, Cyndie's Cousin, for putting together Colin's college fund.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

One Year

One year ago today, around 9:30am, I had to say goodbye to my best friend. I held his hand as they disconnected him from life support and set his spirit free. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. You have followed our story and given us support in the most difficult time of our lives.

Thank you to everyone who has called, sent emails & messages, or spent time with us on this day. Your words and friendship mean the world to me, this past year, today, and always.

Acceptance ... I think that's where I am now. My day to day life has become easier, mostly because I'm used to the way things are. I've accepted that this is the way things are for us, that I cannot change that, and that I must move forward, for both Colin & myself. But still not a day goes by that I don't think of Damien, or that my heart doesn't still ache for him. It just seems that I can deal with things a little better now. I try to keep a positive outlook. I have hopes for a happy and peaceful future. I continue to strive to heal.

So this morning, a few friends came by bearing bagel sandwichs and good company. I then took Colin over to Damien's Memorial to leave some flowers. This afternoon we will be heading up to L.A. to hang out with Richard & Angela. We've decided that today should be a "Celebration of Life" day. So we will find something fun to do. I know that's what he would want.

More on that tomorrow.

With much Love & Aloha,


Friday, August 27, 2010

My Horoscope ...

I just read my horoscope for tomorrow, and find it quite interesting, given the significance of the date:

Today's experience may be shot through with interruptions, cancellations, or delays, but they do serve a purpose, Sagittarius. This is a time at which things that have no further use are being swept away from your life, and you are going through a transformation yourself that requires you to be a bit more fluid so that it's easy to let go of the old and realign with the new. In these disruptions there will be magic moments to experience if they are what you're looking for.

I've been trying not to think too much on this day last year, although it creeps in a little here and there, no matter what. A horrible memory. An everlasting nightmare. And, although difficult to admit, peace to a person suffering immeasurably. On this day last year, I spoke with Damien for the last time, although I had no idea that it would be the last time. I actually had a nice visit with him in the hospital ... we had no idea what was to come.

I had even made a cute little poster board for him with pictures of Colin & our wedding, etc. I was going to put it on the wall next to the bed for when he came home ... something for him to look at everyday and to give him the strength he needed to fight this thing. Now it sits in the closet somewhere, dismantled and collecting dust.

I am exhausted now, mentally & physically. So off to bed I go, fingers crossed that I don't relive the nightmare ...

I miss him so.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Trying to get through

As the one year anniversary is approaching, I find myself trying to push all thoughts of it out of my head, for every time I think about it, I nearly fall apart. I don't know how I've made it this far without Damien.

The kind of strange thing is that I feel more lonely now than ever before. Maybe I just need to get past that one year mark to start feeling better. I need to find my "new" self ... that person who must now add "widow" to all the other things that make up her person.

I know I've said it a million times, but I never thought I'd be sitting here today in this situation. I never thought I'd be a single mom. I never thought I'd be without my wonderful husband. I miss him so much.