Sick days ...

I woke up this morning not feeling so well ... not so much a flu, but headache and sinus problems, and lack of sleep.  I really just wanted to lay on the couch all day and mindlessly watch TV.  But this is not the case when you have a 2 year old running around, full of energy.  I laid on the couch while he watched Sesame Street, but then he really wanted to go outside and play with his new basketball hoop and ball.  So I had to give in, but then I later convinced him that we needed to go inside and do puzzles.  Nap time couldn't come soon enough for me, so I could lay on the couch some more. 

Long after nap was over, I looked up at the clock ... it was almost 6pm and I was exhausted ... and for one half of a second, I caught myself thinking about Damien coming home from work soon.  He always came home around 6.  And he always helped me with everything, especially when I wasn't feeling well.  Sometimes these little "memories" just smack me in the face.  On days like this, it's difficult to accept that he's gone.  I miss him on so many levels. 

And, as always, the house just seems too quiet.   I miss the sounds of him playing with Colin, or giving him a bath, and both of them laughing.  Damien had a special bond with Colin.  Sometimes I do think about how unfair it is that such a wonderful, loving Daddy had to be taken away from his son.  I try not to dwell on it though.  Staying stuck in the negative for too long isn't going to do us any good.  Instead, I try to remind Colin everyday about his Daddy, and the things they used to do, and what a great Daddy he was. 

I really should go lay down now and get some sleep.

After all, tomorrow is another day.