RIP Marshall Haas

My mom's husband and my stepdad, Marshall Haas, passed away on Tuesday, Sept. 14th 2010. He had been quite ill for a while, dealing with his diabetes and pulmonary hypertension. He had been in and out of the hospital numerous times over the past year, usually due to low oxygen levels. He also had to be on oxygen 24 hrs a day. He came home from the hospital at the end of the previous week and was put on hospice care, as it was determined that there wasn't anything else that could be done for him. He passed away 3 days later, peacefully in his sleep.

He was always happy and in good spirits, never complaining about his ailments. He will be greatly missed.

We had gone over to see him the weekend before he passed. He was sitting up in the living room on the sofa, propped up with pillows. He was having a difficult time eating. Colin had just gotten the movie "Cars" and we brought it over to watch. My mom, sister, and I were sitting at the dinning table talking while the boys watched the movie. Marsh seemed to like it! Even though he was tired, he still managed to play around with Colin, and even picked him up for a hug before we had to go home. I know that Colin is going to miss his PopPop ... they always had so much fun together.

Although Marsh did not want a Memorial Service, my mom decided to have a small gathering where the ashes were located in Forest Lawn Cemetery in Cypress, with the Reverend who came to see him from hospice care. He said a few words and prayers and sang Amazing Grace, which was Marsh's favorite song. My mom just couldn't let him go with out something ... and I can completely understand that ... and I'm sure Marsh does too.

My mom with the Reverend.

Marshall's son, Doug.

The three of us with Richard & Angela.

Marsh's neighbors & good friends.

The construction guys who are currently working on Mom & Marsh's house, who became friends with Marsh.

A couple of the employees from Carrows, where my Mom & Marsh would often grab a bite to eat.

Flowers at the Niche

Jamba Juice

One year has come and gone ... a year full of "firsts" without Damien ... first birthday, first wedding anniversary (would have been our 5th), Colin's first steps, and firsts of all the holidays etc, etc. It's been a very difficult year filled with these "firsts".

But come to find out, these "firsts" have not stopped simply because the first year has passed.

Last Friday I came down with a pretty nasty cold, so I decided to go to Jamba Juice for one of their Coldbuster Smoothies. I didn't think about it much really ... just thought it would be good for me, seeing as I didn't really feel like eating anything. I took Colin to daycare as usual on Fridays, and stopped on the way home to pick one up. I parked and dragged myself out of the car and into the front door ... as soon as I got inside, I kinda froze up. It was a deja vu kind of experience. My head was spinning.

Then it dawned on me just why. You see, about a week and a half before Damien was admitted to the hospital that last time, he was having great difficulty swallowing. He had a horrendous dry cough typical of the disease, and terrible mouth sores due to the immunosuppressor drugs. And because of all that, he had a hard time eating solid foods. So I started making the daily trip to Jamba Juice, picking up smoothies for him just so he could get some calories. I would get him a different flavor everyday, all with immunity and protein boosts. He looked forward to it each day.

It's strange how such little things can bring back such memories.

Well, I made it out of there with smoothie in hand. And I've tackled yet another "first" on a long list of many.

And in these moments I continue to remind myself to "just breathe".