Waterfall

Another day, another letter that needs to be sent off with a copy of the death certificate and an affidavit that needs to be notarized. So I get in the car and head over to the UPS store on Bristol street. The death certificate, again and again ... it is required for just about everything. Having to look at it over and over can prove to be too much at times. To have to see the words ...

Driving back home the memories come crashing down on me like a waterfall. I am surrounded by all the places where our lives took place. I remember all the times we would go to South Coast Plaza to shop or just to walk around. Take the baby on the carousel. Eat at our favorite restaurants. Champagnes, Pacific Whey, Ruby's, Wahoos, Boudin. Spending time together. Talking about anything and everything. Going into labor at Macy's. Seeing shows at the OC Performing Arts Center. Hanging out with friends at Jerry's Deli. Laughing together. Watching the seasons come and go. I could pick up and leave this place, but honestly, I don't want to.

This happens to me whenever I have to deal with the "business of death". It always brings everything to the surface. And there is still so much that needs to be dealt with, but I can only handle it a little at a time. Piece by piece. I continue to take baby steps on my journey ...