Landslide

I took my love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain and turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Till the landslide brought it down

Oh, mirror in the sky - What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
I don't know, I don't know

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
Because I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder, even children get older
And I'm getting older, too

So, take my love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down
The landslide will bring it down

Going, going ...

Gone.  Just like that.  Damien's name has been removed from our mortgage.  And I hated doing it.  But upon the advice of a financial advisor, it has been recommended that I remove Damien's name off of all our bills and financial matters.  I feel like I'm deleting him out of my life, and it's a horrible feeling.  The next thing I have to tackle is his cell phone.  I can't bring myself to turn it off yet, but it's a huge waste of money, and I don't have any money to waste.  I'm giving myself  'til the end of summer ...

Just a tiny piece of all the heart-breaking details that need to be taken care of when someone passes away.

It's been almost 2 years already, and it's still hard to accept that he's gone sometimes.  I still have those moments when I turn around and expect to see him standing there with that ever-present smile on his face.  A smile that now only exists in photographs.

And sometimes, when Colin is sleeping, I'll sit and watch the airplanes taking off from John Wayne airport.  It helps me remember all the wonderful trips Damien & I had taken together.  And in some way, that brings me a little bit of peace. 

And I'd like to think that when Colin and I are flying somewhere, we might just be a little bit closer to him ...



Fox Glacier, New Zealand, getting ready to climb



New Zealand - Damien with his favorite dessert, carrot cake